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Coping
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kelliem
I finally got a call from one of the housemate's sisters this morning- apparently they were not even notified until today! It's a big relief to know that they have her will and are planning to fly out and help us with cleaning out her stuff. In the past few years she'd turned into kind of a hoarder so it's not going to be easy. Also, the landlord is being incredibly great and is going to hire one of those specialized cleanup services to deal with the worst of the suicide aftermath. They're probably going to come out tomorrow. I did tell him we should wait on other cleaning until her family is able to come out and he agreed.

Even though I know in my head that it's okay to be angry, it still feels vaguely wrong emotionally.  But I'm trying to just let myself feel what I feel and not try to 'block' any of it, because that isn't healthy :/

I also have a call in to her therapist and I'm going to let them know how badly I think Kaiser failed her.  They kept switching her therapists and psychiatrists so she didn't have any stability of care. And when they committed her back in late January/early February they let her out much too quickly (less than 2 full days!), she needed a much longer term in-patient commitment.  They just didn't want to deal with her or the expense, I think.

Thank you all for your kindness and support, it really helps.

You can also view this post on http://kelliem.dreamwidth.org/241647.html

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I'd be bloody furious, in the same way as I might be when having a serious fight with a loved one. >:(

All of you are showing her great forgiveness and love by doing all this work on her behalf. Look after yourselves and each other as well. And put a rocket under Kaiser.

I did call and speak with her therapist which did very little other than make me more frustrated. I did tell her that I felt Kaiser really failed her, especially when they did not keep her for even 48 hours when she threatened to do this back in late January/early February. If they had committed her for a longer term, I think they might have been able to help her.

She won't be the only patient they've failed, either - and they failed you and her loved ones as well. >:(

You may want to put your frustration in writing and send it to the therapist, to Kaiser, to the APA (to the local paper, to the President, etc).

Yeah, I am thinking about writing some letters, for all the good it will do. :/

I'm glad her sister's coming out and has the will etc. But they only just notified her after you'd passed on the phone numbers? *sigh*

If nothing else, Kaiser deserves a strong letter, maybe copied to someone higher -- I don't know -- Mark Udall, Jared Polis? Somebody like that? It sounds as if her treatment plan was non-existent, and that surely didn't help. If you're that depressed and anxious, and it seems as if you don't have stable help in terms of therapy, meds etc., it only makes things worse.

I'm off for the summer as of next week. You have no idea how much I wish I could fly out there and help out, if I only could afford it. I'm so glad her sister will be there soon and that your landlord is being so understanding. I have to admit that I've worried a bit about you paying the rent on your own, to be honest, which probably isn't right, considering what happened to A. But you've lived here for years now and been a great tenant, so I'm not really surprised he's being so great.

You're going through the stages of grief. This hit you really hard because you were right there. Anger is going to be natural right now. I think I understand how you feel it's wrong emotionally -- that it doesn't 'look' right, maybe, but nobody could or should fault you. And anybody who does is full of shit, seriously. They have no right. But, yeah, what the brain knows and what the heart feels can be two different things.

Apparently they like do notifications in person, not on the phone, though I still think they should have done it Sunday. I did call and speak with her therapist which did very little other than make me more frustrated. I did tell her that I felt Kaiser really failed her, especially when they did not keep her for even 48 hours when she threatened to do this back in late January/early February. If they had committed her for a longer term, I think they might have been able to help her. a letter may be a good idea - one to Kaiser and CC the politicos. Thank you so much for your willingness to help, even if it isn't financially an option.


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